Tuesday, January 1, 2013

what kind of wife are you? (continued)...

Photo Jodi Miller Photography

Well. Happy New Year's everyone. Sheesh- it's officially 2013. Wow. Are you as in shock as I am?

We partied hard last night- made homemade popsicles, watched 1.5 ALIAS episodes, and were asleep by 11:10pm. Yep. Party Animals. Haha.

Honestly, it was perfect. We were pooped and it was just what we needed. Now- we're off to breakfast! Wheeee! I apologize for the lack of a new desktop calendar- but I promise one will be up before the end of the week! Hang in there!

Anywho, funny story...

As I was reading my daily blogs this morning with my cup of tea I came across this one in particular. "Gasp!".. "Irk!".. "Ugh" --> these are the sounds of massive conviction inside me.

Not only conviction but a huge, "Aha!" As you know, the topic of wives and how "I'm doing" is something I struggle with immensely. It's why I finally blogged about it- this topic is literally on my heart heavily, all the time! I love when you feel God placing something important in front of you and you finally decide to listen to Him and study/pray/chew on it. I find that after something like that happens, I will either hear about that same topic in the next week's sermon at church, I'll come across it in a devotion, or some Christian friends will start talking to me about it heavily and without me having brought it up at all. Something very specific always happens!

This time, it was me reading about the very same topic- Wives and Marriage- How we should strive to be...on a blog I frequent. How awesome.

So I decided I just had to share with you all...

The following is an excerpt from one of my favorite blogs, Grace Covers Me titled "Kelly Matte on Being a Pastor's Wife":

"How are you a helpmate to your husband?

I seek to make our relationship and our home a haven for him. I want to be a source of refreshment and encouragement. I want him to know that his heart is safe with me, that I respect him and am fully committed to helping him fulfill God’s call on his life. TheMarriage Builder by Larry Crabb is one of my favorite books on marriage and taught me how to make this a reality. It’s main premise is that God alone can meet the deepest needs of our heart and when we let Him we are then free to minister to our spouse’s needs rather than manipulating them to meet our own. So finding my own security, significance, and satisfaction in Christ alone is essential to me being the helpmate to Gregg that I want to be.

After that, one specific way I seek to be a helpmate to Gregg is to fervently pray for him.  A few years ago the Spirit led me to begin keeping journals with prayers and scriptures just for Gregg that I have given him as gifts on special occasions. He treasured them and would read from them daily as a source of encouragement.

Another way I seek to minister to him is by keeping the home running as smoothly as possible. Having a clean house, good meals, and the kids on a flexible routine and under relative control makes home a place he can relax and replenish. When Gregg gets home we drop everything and welcome him in (which means attack him at the door with hugs and kisses!)

To be ready for him spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally requires that I manage my time and energy wisely during the day. I want to be fresh for him and ready to give, listen, and care. Especially after a particularly hard or long day when he gets home late, we both love it when I welcome him into a clean house, with kids tucked in bed waiting for Daddy to kiss them good night, chocolate chip banana bread baking in the oven, and a candle lit :) I certainly am not always successful at this but it will never stop being my goal. Gregg is my best friend, soul-mate, and gift from God and as long as I live I will seek to bless him."

Powerful right?

This is how I always strive to be!

Husbands are under so much pressure daily (and I tend to forget this): They are, or can be, the (sole) provider for the family, the head of the household, the maker of decisions (with Godly counsel and help), and the lover and supporter of us wives (who, in my case can be a kook!) That's a lot to carry on their backs don't you think? Some of us wives aren't stay at home wives, but for those of us who are, in my opinion, this is how we should always try to be. We should make our "job" as listed above. Our husbands deserve to come home to a serene, loving, warm, comfort-filled, supportive place of rest and restoration.

Wouldn't it be amazing to strive to be a refresher?

Wouldn't it just breathe life and encouragement into our own hearts if we were to be help-mates to our husbands rather than...Debbie Downers?

Now I'm not perfect in this. In fact(!) right before I started my blog readings I was praying about the last few nights and how I felt like I was just not measuring up again! Of course this is me putting this feeling upon myself. I was asking God to recharge me and maybe even re-wire me a bit so I could go back to making our house a wonderful home for him. I know I need God's help in helping me wisely choose how to spend my time during the day so that I am available any way Bill needs me, once he gets home. I was apologizing for how caught up in myself I had been lately and how all I was able to do was have dinner made. Everything else was either not done, or waiting to have Bill help me with when he got home...ARE YOU KIDDING ME CHRISTINA!?!? Ugh.

Now hear me out- we're definitely entitled to days where we just don't feel good...We will have bad days where we're under attack somehow- and in those days...things probably won't get done! I'm not talking about that- I'm talking about when it seems to become one day...then two...then three...and I feel like I'd much rather lay on the couch dwelling on life's drama and the storms I'm going through than to push through it, pray, seek God's comfort and perform my duties as a wife/stay at home wife. My choices throughout those days weren't being very wisely spent. 

If you're a stay at home wifey, know you have a BIG job to do as well: We are to make sure our family has the best home, nutritional foods, and serene place to replenish, as we possibly can. It is up to us to make sure our husbands can walk through our door (with life and all it's hardships that have been beating him down all day) left right there...at the door. Once that door is shut...our job really begins and we're to be that comfort, encouragement, ear to listen, prayer buddy, soother, kisser and hugger!

So, I challenge myself and all the stay at home wives out there...let's make our house a true God-filled home! Perfect in time for the New Year! Happy 2013 friends!


  1. Hi Christina! I LOVE your blog! My husband is a pastry chef at organic bakery in St. Louis, MO. I am a photographer and teacher. It is so fun to read a blog that blends both the tastes of my family. I love you post on eggless homemade coconut ice cream!

    1. Hi Julie!!!! What a neat thing to read! Thank you for your kind words, my sweet friend! PASTRY CHEF at an ORGANIC bakery?!?! My oh my! Sounds AMAZING!

  2. Lovely, and so perfectly said! The perfect reminder that I needed!

    Happy New Year!!

    1. Regina!!! How the heck are you doing, girl!?

  3. I so needed to read this! My husband has been such a rock to me, especially thia past month. I would've been lost without him. I really am grateful that he works so hard so I can stay home. I hope to be the wife that blesses him and refreshes him each day as he returns home.

    P.S. Happy New Year friend! (I thought of you while I was watching The Vow. Because Scott Speedman is in it ya know? ;)

    1. What a gift our husbands are! I feel the same way, Sabrina- I don't know where I'd be this year (last year, the year before that) without my husband by my side. Gosh. I thank the Lord for him all the time!

      Happy New Year to you!!! HE IS IN THAT MOVIE! ...and kind of...a mean guy! Haha. We were happy to see him though. So I have to tell you- we've moved on to another JJ Abrams show- Alias. DId I already tell you this? Phenomenal. Michael Vartan, Jennifer Garner- Wheeeee!

  4. Love this post and your blog! Very encouraging and thank you for sharing!

    1. Hi Melody! Welcome friend :) So glad you were encouraged. God is so good!


Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

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