36 weeks. Holy cow where did you come from?! Bill and I looked at each other the other day and said, "we no longer can say 'months from now baby will be here'...it's only a matter of weeks!" Weeks! As in, 1, 2, 3 or 4! Ahhhhhhh!
I feel like I'm both super duper ready and backing away from the inevitable going, "No, no, not yet!" That's normal right? I feel like we're both sitting on a rocket with the speed steadily increasing to amounts I thought I was totally prepared for but am now wishing could slow down a tad so I can catch my breath and regroup. But we can't. We're in full swing now! So exciting and terrifying.
Clothes and linens are all washed, changing supplies are all organized, nursing "station" is how I think I'll really enjoy it, freezer is stocked and the hospital bag is 98% packed. Yet with all of that I still find myself walking around the house wondering what else needs to be done...feeling like it's not quite right- not quite ready for him. We even rearranged the living room (again) this weekend in preparation for Baby Main. Because you know, he'll totally care where the couch goes and that it's now perfectly centered underneath the giant mirror we have up on the wall. Sheesh.
All the ding dang chocolate. All throughout my pregnancy I just enjoyed most foods, ate whatever I could and thought..."cravings? Ehhhh don't know if I've ever really had em..." I mean sure, I've had an increased sweet tooth since being pregnant and there was that stint of time I couldn't get enough lemony things...but NOTHING compares to this chocolate need! And I do mean NEED. Life or death feelings come over me where I sit there at 8pm seriously considering sending my relaxing husband out to buy a Hershey's bar for me. I haven't done so yet ;) but guys....it's BAD. Never been a chocolate ice cream fan, but all of a sudden it's like the BEST thing ever made on earth. Chocolate milk- yes please! Hot chocolate? Almost every night. Chocolate chips in my hand as snacks...chocolate granola for breakfast and sometimes lunch (which makes chocolate milk!!! THE JOY!) It's the weirdest thing. In fact, just this morning I woke up at 4:30, sat there, then made myself a cup of hot chocolate. AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING.
Hot chocolate? Hahahaha.
We just finished our breastfeeding class last week (which...woah guys....was intense stuff) so the giant packet of 356,789 different papers and things we need to practice and remember have been on our bedside tables since. Who knew breastfeeding could be that complicated? Sure, sure, I knew it wasn't the easiest thing in the world and have walked through friends' struggles as they woefully had to give up and switch to formula for various reasons...but this was a whole new level. "Are my fingers right?! Are they in a V or C position, Bill?!!?!? Do I have the right bras, creams, pads, chairs, blankets, jammies, blah blah blah?!!??!" I'm feeling like I have NO idea what the heck to do and also feel like I'm going to be eating and sleeping in my nursing corner for about the first 4-6 weeks!
Baby Main to get here! As the weeks trek on without any input from us, we just get more and more excited and yet barf-ily nervous at the same time! Also, can't wait for my pelvis and round ligament to allow me to walk again! It's gotten so bad that I now how to grocery shop with those electric carts you drive around. Sad day for me, best day ever for Bill. He literally loved it so much and laughed so hard! Hahaha. There's even a video should you care to laugh along. He's so proud of this video.
Comfort during these next few weeks and serious courage, peace, mercy and grace to go through labor and delivery! Everyday we find ourselves praying that whenever "it" happens, we both just know exactly what our roles are (actually all three of us), do what we need to do, work well as a team, and get Baby Main here as best as we possibly can!
I can sleep for 2-2.5 hour stints at a time if I lodge pillows under my back so I'm sort of laying on my back/side! Which is fantastic!!! If I sleep solely on one side or the other, I'm up every hour needing to switch.
Skirts and dresses because the thought of pulling up pants 45 times a day exhausts me.
I feel like I'm almost sitting outside my body just watching things move along. Everything is going so fast yet I can't do very much. Can't clean, can't pick things up, can't go for walks to clear my head or bake for hours to digest the day. I have no control over anything anymore and it's a little unnerving. BUT throughout it all, I've also learned and seen how beautiful and "just as it should be" letting go and allowing Jesus and Bill to help me really is. Bill literally has to pull my pants up and tie my shoes which is so humbling for me, but so good too. It's a good thing to let your husband take care of you ;)
The movements! He's so active, it's crazy! I've also been able to catch a few "alien-like" (as my sister called it) bursts of baby time on camera! That's been a real blast to be able to show others (or Bill if he's at work) or watch a million times later that day. Sometimes I'll sit there with my hand or arm resting on my belly and feel a little knee or elbow swipe across underneath and get super giddy and squeal. It's the most surreal feeling- feeling him! On my arm!
Dress // Old Navy. Belt // H&M.